Weddings are Impossible
by DiscoUnicorn
Summary: In which Teddy is angry, and Fred can't find his shoes.


_**I don't own anything related to HP. Read and Review. **_

"We're going to be late!" Roxanne kicked over the bowl of popcorn on the table and shoved her brother out of the way as she ran into the bathroom.

"Where are my shoes?" Fred ran his fingers through his hair anxiously before dropping to his knees and crawling around the room.

Roxanne ran from the bathroom with her toothbrush in her mouth and nearly tripped over her brother. He caught her by both arms before she could fall. "If I had fallen, I would have tortured you insane then let Teddy kill you."

"Yeesh. Hormonal much?" He ducked her fist and darted into the back room. "Rox! I can't find my other shoe."

"I don't care! How could we forget something so important? Oh, Merlin. Mom is going to kill us." Roxanne disappeared into the bathroom again.

Fred frowned over his shoulder when he heard the shower turn on. She was such a worry-wart. He snatched open the closet and tossed around a few of Teddy's things. Where the hell were his shoes? He got onto his knees and dug through the stuffed black duffel bag he saw. Nothing. A feeling of panic was really starting to set in. Roxanne would kill him if he didn't find his shoes. He peeped into her bedroom to see her clothes spread neatly across the bed. Maybe he could hide something of hers and things wouldn't seem so bad. He eased the closet door closed and was in the process of going into her room when she emerged from the bathroom in her light blue robe.

She glared at him. "Get lost. And you'd better be dressed by the time I come out, or I'm leaving you!" Her bedroom door slammed shut in his face.

He stared at a pair of sandals and suddenly wished he had more skills in transfiguration. His fingers trembled as he adjusted his tie. So? She was the one that had sat on the couch eating popcorn and watching thirty year old movies. Fred tried to flatten his curly hair as he got into his coat. She was going to kill him. He could feel it in the bottom of his stomach like he had that time Aunt Hermione cooked pot roast. The very idea of it made him want to gag. He grabbed the gym shoes in the closet and put them on his feet. He prayed she wouldn't notice.

The first thing she did was push her long hair up with several white hairpins. She wore slippers and had no idea of what to do after hair was usefully up. She turned to her brother. "Let's go!"

Was it her excitement or his fear that had him trembling as he grabbed her hand and led her down the stairs? Roxanne hummed softly behind him and didn't seem to notice another thing in the world as she clutched her dress in her arms. Fred helped her into the car and exhaled loudly as they pulled away.

"I noticed that you aren't wearing your shoes. The ones you forced me to pay an unbelievable amount for." Roxanne leered at him.

"I didn't want to dirty them. They're in the back." Fred forced a smile.

"Good." She stared out the window silently until they made it to the church.

Their mother, with her long black hair flowing over her shoulders, strolled over to the car and helped Roxanne out quickly. "Why did you choose your brother, of all people? You have half a dozen female cousins."

"They hate me, Mom. Freddy, get your shoes and let's go." Roxanne smiled at her mother as they headed into the church.

"Merlin, I'm going to die." He closed the door and stood there until his sister and mother had disappeared inside.

The panic became unbearable when he saw Teddy, dressed in a brilliantly white tuxedo coming towards him. Fred swallowed and shoved his hands into his pockets. Teddy slapped him on the shoulder and led him towards the front of the church where his father was pacing and saying something to himself.

"Something is going to go wrong." His father turned to the two of them.

"Not with Fred. . ." Teddy blinked at Fred's shoes. "W-what are those?"

"I couldn't find my shoes." He laughed nervously.

George groaned and shook his head. "Roxanne is going to force you to return her money for those shoes you begged her to buy. Fred, you're almost thirty years old!" His father burst into laughter.

"W-what are you laughing at?" Fred looked around.

"I told your uncle almost the same thing when we were in school and he couldn't decide if he wanted to take your mom to the Yule ball." He cleared his throat and walked away from them.

"What are we going to do about your shoes?" Teddy groaned.

"Uncle Fred took mom to the ball?" Fred looked outright appalled. "This is too weird to think about."

"What are you going to do about those shoes? Roxanne isn't going to let you stand beside her wearing those. Where is the ring?" Teddy gently shook Fred.

"I have that!" Fred smiled as he slapped the side of his coat. The smile on his face faltered. He cleared his throat and turned away from Teddy.

"What are you doing?" Teddy reached for Fred, who happened to jump out of his reach just in time.

"I have to go find my shoes."

"Fred!" Teddy groaned and broke into a run after him.

It shouldn't be happening like that. He was responsible and trustworthy and going to be someone important in a few months. Where the hell were his shoes, and what had happened to the rings? He was almost out of the door when a strong hand fell on his shoulder and yanked him back. He bumped into something hard and looked up to find Teddy glowering down at him. Fred closed his eyes and gulped. Why would nature allow people with such similar temperaments to marry?

"I was going to get my shoes." Fred said slowly.

The look on Teddy's face didn't change. "Hurry back. Bring the rings with you."

Fred apparated as soon as he was in the foyer of the church. He tripped over something when he took a step forward. His shoe! He was about to turn on the light when he realized he had no idea where he was. His fingers fumbled around in the dark. How had he ended up in the closet in Roxanne's room? He stumbled out and ran into the adjacent room. It was decorated with kelly green walls and canary colored curtains. Fred opened all the drawers on the new dresser and muffled a scream when he came up empty-handed.

The music for the bride to enter suddenly filled the church, and Teddy couldn't have been more upset. He tried to hide his frustration by plastering a fake smile on his face, but he knew that Harry wasn't buying it. His look of concern was enough to make Teddy want to punch something. Why was he feeling so violent? He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and turned to the priest. He saw Angelina whisper something to George and disappear into the back again. George waved his hand, and the music stopped. He stood next to Teddy for a few moments.

"She's not feeling well." George touched Teddy on the shoulder. "I gave her something."

"It won't hurt her, will it?" Teddy asked nervously. He knew George wouldn't intentionally hurt his daughter, but the man was somewhat of a weirdo.

"No. I left all that stuff in the car. She'll be out in a moment. Where's Fred?"

Teddy covered his face with a hand. "I'm dead."

George chuckled and gave him a sympathetic look before abandoning him at the altar. Teddy was in the process of cracking his knuckles when a certain dark haired man appeared in the door and ran down the aisle. Fred inhaled sharply and held up the small black box. The look on Teddy's face told him something was wrong, but he didn't have time to ask. The music started playing again. Fred adjust his tie and moved to the other side of the altar where Roxanne would be standing. He waved to his cousins, who looked as if they each wanted to hit him and the man standing a few feet away from him.

It took too long for George and Roxanne to walk down the aisle, and Teddy was beginning to feel as if the church was shrinking. He gripped Roxanne's hand tightly and couldn't help but smile when she looked at him. The elaborate pale pink dress she wore made her skin glow. He ignored the priest as he spoke. Teddy's gaze left Roxanne's face for a moment. Fred was behind her chewing on his lower lip and looking as if he was guilty of something. Teddy flinched when Roxanne stepped on his foot.

"W-what?" He blushed and looked at the priest confused. Oh. He cleared his throat and held his hand out to Fred. The brother looked satisfied as he opened the box. Teddy wasn't surprised when the box turned out to be empty. It was the box their engagement ring had been in. "Why, Fred, wherever are the rings?"

Roxanne sighed and reached into the front of her dress. She handed Teddy the rings. "I knew he'd forget." She looked at her brother and smiled.

Fred let out a sigh of relief and almost went to hug his sister. His mother gave him a look that made him want to jump out the window. Shouldn't she be looking at their cousins like that? They were the ones sitting their glaring at the two people at the altar. Really, his parents were too easy on outside people. Fred pulled his sister into a tight hug and kissed her on the forehead. He rubbed her round stomach and burst into laughter. They had actually done it. Against the wishes of everyone in the family, including Uncle Harry, Roxanne and Teddy had gotten married! Fred clapped happily and was about to move out of the way when Roxanne punched him in the arm.

"You're wearing one shoe, idiot!"


End file.
